Two Men in a Bush in Brussels

Hi!

How are you?

This entry comes to you from jolly old England. I returned to the UK on Sunday after spending four days in Brussels.

You might just notice that this is my first entry in a long time that isn't sad or melancholic. That's because I had a very good last day in Brussels. Wonderful. It's that day I want to tell you about.

I saw some lovely places, met some nice people, basked in beautiful warm sunshine, disturbed two men having sex in a park, ate a lovely ice cream and had my photograph taken with a cheetah and a bee.

The day started off with a visit to a couple of buildings - Saint Michael's cathedral being one of them - and a museum of music called Old England, which was very interactive and very good.

Later I boarded a Brussels sight-seeing bus and visited a park called Mini-Europe. It was amazing. By far the best place I saw.

They have lots of impressive small-scale replicas of European landmarks like Big Ben, the houses of Parliament, the Eiffel Tower, the leaning tower of Pisa and so on.

While I was there I was conned into having my picture taken with a man dressed as a bee. Later I was conned into having my picture taken with a man dressed as a cheetah. In both photographs the cheetah and the bee looked better than I did.

Anyway. Something funny happened to me in Mini-Europe. I bumped into two people - a woman and her teenage daughter - from Poland. We managed to communicate in mini-English and mini-Russian.

The conversations didn't last long because their English was as bad as my Russian. It wasn't so much small talk that we engaged in - more like tiny talk.

I saw Polish Woman and Daughter often in Mini-Europe. It was nice. After we left the park we said our goodbyes and I went to look at a huge and pretty impressive molecule-shaped type thingy nearby. While I was there I ran into Polish Woman and Daughter again. This time when I said "privet" all I got was two polite smiles. Then I saw them again and in return for my smile I got two more polite smiles.

Then five minutes later I saw them again and the polite smiles had become nervous glances. I realised they probably thought I was some sort of stalker and so I tried to stay out of their way!

Then a few minutes later I saw them again and they pretended they hadn't seen me. I decided to take a different route to them out of the molecule-shaped type thingy and I soon reached the outside.

Then I saw them again.

After that, I boarded my sight-seeing bus (just made the last one, too) and made my way back to the centre of Brussels. Polish Woman and Daughter packed their bags and boarded a flight to Warsaw.

Once back in the centre of Brussels, I visited an Internet cafe and made some more use of my free sixteen hours. Some time later I took a walk around the city and came across a lovely park.

I sat on a bench next to a calm and very peaceful pond. I mentally opened the book of my life and skimmed through its pages. I thought about my life, where I'm going, where I've been.

I never realised how travelling makes you think. It really helped clear my head, and helped me to forget Patricia's cruel words. I sat there for hours, looking at the stillness of the water, then I took a walk through the park and came across two men having sex in a bush.

At least I think that's what they were doing! They both emerged from the bush looked nervous, flushed and worried. So I went on my merry way and left them to their carnal desires and their vaseline...

Later that night I visited an ultra-cool, you-must-go-there-and-see-this, tiny cinema museum. I watched a silent film from 1928 which was accompanied by a man sitting in the corner of the cinema playing piano. It was unbelievable. Unforgettable.

I sat there for an hour in this small, dark cinema as this guy played the most beautiful music I have ever heard in my life. It was lovely and really quite moving - an hour I will simply never forget.

If you ever find this place, take a look in the book of appreciation, if they still have it. You'll find enclosed within some rather sentimental words left by a Professional Englishman.

And that was it for Brussels. I can't think of anything else worth mentioning. I used up plenty of my free Internet time. I walked a lot. I answered the call of nature a couple of times. Oh, and I discovered that I love Belgian waffles! And that was it!

After I got through the first couple of days there I did enjoy my time in Belgium and it is a place that I will visit again. I don't know when. But Brussels and I will eventually meet again...

And that's it! Thanks for reading this entry. I guess that this, my first non-melancholic entry in a long time, just goes to show:

Even a Professional Englishman can have good days now and again.

From the memory box of a Professional Englishman.

Skyler Black.

Bruised and Broken in Brussels

Hi.

I think I know what the problem is.

I think that when I was a little boy I missed a very important day of my schooling.

I think there was a day when my teacher took everybody in my class to one side and told them about life and how a man should act and behave and be. I must surely have been absent on that day.

Yes, it's me again. I'm writing to you from Brussels and I'm feeling quite weird and weary. I've been here for a day - I leave on Sunday - and I'm not sure whether I like the place, but I am happy to be here.

Before I tell you my reason for coming to Brussels, I just want to tell you about something great that has just happened to me. I've been using this Internet cafe for a while and paying 1 Euro for each half hour. I was about to buy more time when a young man came up to me and gave me a card and said something to me in French.

I've just sat down to discover that he's me given me his unlimited Internet access pass and I now have 18 hours and 40 minutes Internet access! I'm so glad I thanked him!

Anyway: Back to weird and weary and my reason for being here.

I came to Belgium to be with a young French-Canadian girl named Patricia Leduc. Patricia and I met in York and spent a wonderful week together. I arranged to spend a few days with her in Brussels before she headed home.

I met Patricia yesterday as we'd arranged and at first everything was fine. At first. Then within an hour our entire "friendship" had fallen apart and it ended with Patricia telling me that she doesn't like me or my appearance and she thinks that I'm a "victim."

Hmmmm.

Patricia left Brussels today and now I will never see her again. It seems, upon reflection, that I have badly misjudged this girl. It's a shame, because I have so many beautiful memories with her from York. Memories of ghost walks, pubs, conversations that went on until 6am, a film called Sex and Lucia, getting caught together in the shower of a local youth hostel, laughs and much more.

Cardboard memories I will cut out and keep for many years to come.

I think my problem is that I simply get far too attached to people. I have friends in Eastern Europe and I know that many of these people value our friendship very much. With people from the West it just isn't the same. Many people I meet from Western countries seem content to have "disposable" friendships: Use one, throw it away, get another.

To be completely honest, I generally don't like Westerners and these horrible little capitalist societies that we've created. Eastern Europeans still seem to have something that we in the West have lost.

I know that I've said all this before and I don't mean to sound like a bitter young-old man. I just don't understand it. I think that, because I have never had a strong family backing me, I search for things in other people that I can't find in myself.

It's true that people are life. Life is nothing without people. While I'm in Brussels, I'm not taking photographs of churches or anything like that because they often bore me. They're just buildings! It's the people we meet who matter.

You can bet your bottom euro that in years to come, when this hair is grey and these crows feet run deeper than ever, it will be photos of my family and people like Katja, Tanya and Olga that raise a smile. Not photos of a museum or a church that I once visited! These will not be the snapshots that I cherish.

Soooooo. Anyway. Before I end this entry, I'd like to resolve my Patricia story. I told you everything fell apart. Well, the last hours we spent together were actually nice. I think we both understood last night that they were the last hours we would ever spend together.

We laughed. We saw the Grand Place, a remarkable piece of architecture. We jumped like Kangaroos. We danced in the street or, rather, I danced in the street.

I told Patricia that I shall keep one memory from last night. That memory is both of us standing near the Grand Place, watching two street artists playing violins. It was near dusk and there was a warm wind blowing. We stood there for maybe ten minutes as this beautiful, haunting music filled the air.

Despite everything that happened yesterday, despite Patricia's cruel words, I will never forget this girl. For seven days she lit up my life.

And though I will never write to her again, and though she will never know it, when I think of Patricia and the days we spent together I will always do so with a smile.

And now it's late. I only have sixteen hours of Internet access left!

I'm going to walk the streets of Brussels for a while, with the music of Sting in my ears, and soak up the atmosphere of this funny city. After that it's back to my hotel and off to sleep.

Thanks for listening to me ramble. I will be in touch in a day or two to let you know about any more adventures or misadventures that I have in Brussels.

If only I hadn't missed that day of school . . .

From the memory box of a Professional Englishman.